PMT?

Its not pacific mean time.... its not pre-menstural-tension either..... well ugggh.... ya it is pre marital tension....

It is true that life after marriage is a set of adjustments, amendments & a box of other assorted adjectives which suitably fits-in as a righteous clan member of such a weird family tree.
Once a Limbo... always a limbo.... in a no-man's land as of now... maybe more to come shortly..... will get cathartic soon, as I hope it would sure turn out to be!

Thought: Building Castles in Thin Air!

This morning when I happened to check my yahoo account for new emails after about a week’s break, this one with a subject “A NOTE FROM Dr. XYZ – PLS READ CAREFULLY” caught my attention. Although I heard six warning bells inside my head blaring-out, all at once; vociferous enough to deafen my ears, each of them coming from each one of the six senses that I supposedly possess, all I had to do was to temporarily tap it to a silent mode to get on to a fast-forward mode. With the six folks now glaring at me sordidly huddled in one dusty corner….I went about clicking on the subject line to get to the details of this most creepiest of mails sitting innocently in my inbox posted as on Nov 10th 2007.
With the crazy globe on the top right corner of my browser revolving at the speed of a tortoise’s gait and the message on the status bar below showing as:

Opening page ShowLetterId? MsgID=45676545X&hgklsrydddggg……..

I waited for 30 raring-to-go seconds tapping my fingers restlessly on the key board tray….
And then suddenly, just when I stopped tapping, the status bar lit up with a set of green colored square boxes progressing slowly to demonstrate a flourish of activity happening at the background leaving me at the edge of my seat… all the more inquisitive and a bit jittery about what could really be awaiting inside that most curious looking email (or so I thought it looked).

Quarter past another minute, cursing the ISP under my breath, there lands the response page I was looking for…..with a throbbing heart and trembling fingers, constricted eyes strained to its maximum elasticity to read the smallest size of the font that was used to draft the below mail; I was reading out loud……..

Dear Friend,Though this approach appears desperate,difficulties encountered in efforts to establish abusiness abroad necessitate this search forsomeone to assist me in securing and investingthe sum of USD18,000,000 (eighteen million dollars)deposited in my name abroad.By way of summarized profile of myself, I amDr. XYZ a 64years old lady and thewife of Mr. ABC (former head ofstate and President of East Timor).
From past experiences, many people I had regarded as close friendsand relatives has capitalize on my family'stravail to run away with my money. In order to avert thisnegative development, I in conjunction with myson now seek your permission to allow us do aCHANGE OF OWNERSHIP/REASSIGNMENT OFCREDIT of stated funds from the deposit company toyour name, so that the funds (US$18million)would be released to you as the BENEFICIARY (onbehalf of me and my family).Our family trusteehave secretly protected the deposit, you are toassist us to lay claims of the funds with the aidof all legal documents that will be forwarded toyou as time goes on. If you agree to help,we shall discuss the disbursement ratio in ournext correspondence after we have beenacquainted.
I have decided to offer 20% of the above sumto anyone who assists us to secure this fundsoverseas or 20% share for possible help oninvesting in any reliable venture.No doubt this proposal will make youapprehensive, please I employ you to observeutmost confidentiality and rest assured that thistransaction would be most profitable for both ofus.PLEASE INDICATE YOUR INTEREST BY RESPONDING TOMY ALTERNATIVE EMAILADDRESS
Email:xtzabc6465@yahoo.com
WITH THE FOLLOWING INFO:Your full name and addressYour telephone/fax numbers.Once I receive this information, my son willprepare the necessary documents that will putyou in place as the new owner of the funds. Themoney will then be released to your custody bythe Deposit Company.Awaiting your swift response.Sincerely yours,Dr. Mrs XYZ.Email: xtzabc6465@yahoo.com.
Awwwwwhhhh!!! 20% of $18 Million is how much?????
Quickly & swiftly my hands reach up to the windows à run à calc + Enter, & I type in the figures to see the magical numbers of my astounding future, It stood gleefully at $3,600,000 (Three Million Six Hundred Thousand Dollars)!!!

Approximately about 14,40,00,000 – Indian Rupeees!!!! :-O:-O:-O

Fourteen odd CRORES?!?!?! ………

OH MY GOD!
OH MY GOD!!
OHHHH MYYY GODDD!!!!

My pinched myself hard to see if this wasn’t a dream!!! Or if I was at the threshold of some treasure hunt game or in any case at a place where I should be After-Death!
Nope. None of the above.

Very much alive and kicking and sitting in front of my age old computer and off-putting internet connection that blinks forever to scare the hell out of me as if to mean “I-might-die-anytime-now”!.

Hmmmm…such an unbelievable twist-in-the-story for a below average, less than mundane, morbid low level life on a bright Wednesday morning…

I wasn’t sure which one of the following emotions were racing past the other to hit the red band first,

Contended?
Dumbfound?
Flabbergasted?
Shocked?
Surprised?
Stunned?
Spellbound?
Speechless?
Taken Aback?
Traumatized?

You bet, I was hit by all of them almost at once and it was quite a feeling, pretty much unexplainable for me in those desperate milliseconds of fighting for words…..

I was 2 feet above the ground looking for my mom to tell her that she needs to start seeing a multi-millionaire Groom for me and not a 7,8,9 or10 LPA earning silly, boring and lifeless software pro!

Ah! These are just froth bubbles out of the soap water aren’t they…?

“Hey GOD!!! Are you listening to me at all???? Why can’t someone knock some sense into this silly girl’s dumb-head????”

I heard my heart screaming on top of its voice at the almighty, just when I was about to tap my mom’s shoulder to tell her about this eventful email this morning!

Thoughtfully.............................Me!

Thought: Importance of Meetings!

As we all wait for the meeting to begin, the precarious moments of the next hour looms large in front of us, with sweaty palms, shaking legs, tapping ID cards, drumming fingers, paper cones cleaning the ears, chewing of the gums, dancing pens, scribbling on the paper, rolling the paper weight or even doing some eye-exercise to release the stress or fight-out your sleep; are some of the most noticeable actions that we see in the meeting room. These meetings never seem to get anywhere is also an opinion that’s widely heard across many organizations.

Moreover, half the people attending the meeting seem distracted and the other half frustrated. The distracted lot keep checking their watches once in every 10 seconds while the frustrated ones keep thinking about their receding hair lines.

And then we hear our host begin, clearing his throat in the most clichéd rhythm,
Now, we’ve been meeting every week for months and the purpose seems to have gotten lost as I see no progress on the milestones that we must have met long since!

And then suddenly you ask yourself, "Darn, How did we get here and what can be done about it? And most of all, who invented these meetings anyway? Of all the days, why should it be on this very day when I must leave by 3pm to pick up my kid from the school as she returns from her excursion after a long week?"

Your feeling of dread deepens as you momentarily recall that . . . you're supposed to be the driving this meeting and you are the one who must take the MOM (Minutes of the Meeting) and also run this meeting during your host’s absence.

Well, now block all thoughts that belong to the outside world of those glass doors and confine your thought processes to the crux of the very discussion that you are getting into.

• First things first, Being on time for the meetings is like learning “A for Apple” so don’t do any mistakes on that one!

• Try to be a leader and take charge of the situation no matter wherever or however important you are in the meeting.

• Identify exactly what you want to expect in each of these meetings and do keep a check if these are accomplished and is catering to the needs of the participants.

• You have been invited for a meeting, simply means that your presence is deemed to serve some purpose.

• A meeting is where the most critical and significant information is shared across teams and key decisions are made on mutual consensus and unanimous approvals.

• Make it known to everyone in the forum that each person is expected to contribute.

• Set a clear tone as to who’s responsible for what and by when. If not met make the defaulter run the meetings next time onwards until they see that the expectations are met 100%.(just an idea, can be anything instead that’s bound to the practical feasibility of the system, audience and organization)

• Remind yourself that it's your responsibility to make sure everyone is engaged and energized by the discussions and by the purpose of the meeting.

• Meetings that are regular, focused, appropriate and timely are always welcome for the success of a team and organization on the whole.

• Paying attention to the meeting is probably one of most vital things that many should work on as there could be potentially a lot of take-away’s that we may tend to miss out on!

• Creating an experience that makes each participant to think of your meetings as necessary and valuable could probably be one of the best gifts one can ask for!

To be a true leader, Appreciations at the right time, indication of the issues & identification of risks upfront including corrective measures or suggestions for the same at the right time and right place, to top it all with regular motivational pep talks, nurturing the ownership mentality with in the team and plunging-in to resolve issues by rolling-up your sleeves when the times call for it are all the prerequisites!

When someone is all of the above, automatically the Leader in him rises to a pinnacle and then there are no mistakes after that!

When ten people gather under one roof to discuss ideas, that’s where a lot of Newton’s are reborn, to make it sound more relevant in a Software jargon, let’s get together regularly and without fail to bring out the hidden “Bill Gates” in us!

At the same time, Let’s also throw-in our feedback if a meeting is not effective, Be the first to start it!

For someone wisely said, “Treading the beaten path is no fun, when I can lay my own new road!”

So, Junta please attend your meetings!!!! J

Signing off,
On a Meeting Note

Thought:Think Different!

It is what we often fail to notice everytime we falter in something that we took up to succeed and come out with flying-colors. It is the deceit of the inherent belief in the task taken up by us, that's pre-defined and pre-designed and even pre-expected only to succeed, but no failures!

That definitely is now on the contrary to what we have been fed-enough to go by the ancient adage"Give your best and Be prepared for the worst to come!"

Having said that, its quite a common belief to tread a beaten path which is perhaps safe.But, sometimes it could be uninspiring too. Always tracing a known path will get you results that are already experienced and expected. The outcome of walking through an used corridor is never going to be phenomenal. For those of us who want to be different, be noticed and who want to achieve success in life, the secret lies in daring to be different.

Deep down, all of us want to be known for something exceptional, something unique and something that identifies us on a podium amidst the mundane crowd. This is an inherent human attitude by nature. We see it manifested in our attitude towards our style of living, among other things. It is an attitude that should be harnessed and utilized in the right direction to ensure that it is reflected in our personal and professional growth rather in procuring material acquisitions. The first step in this direction lies in thinking differently. All of us go out everyday and see various things. Some people manage to find deep inspiration in ordinary things that they see. On many occasions, the outcome of this inspiration has proved invaluable to mankind.

For instance consider this example, that’s awe-inspiring to read, but which has immeasurable amounts of pains and failures attached to it to make it a reality as what we see it today:
The employees of the US Census Bureau were going about their work of taking the census count. One particular employee, Herman Hollerith, when travelling by train, noticed a train conductor punching tickets. He perceived that simple everyday occurrence, witnessed by thousands of people daily, differently and it started him on a chain of thoughts. The result of the practical application of his thoughts was an invention that would help in his work of tabulating census reports. This invention was the tabulating machine designed by him in the year 1890. Once his invention proved useful and popular he started a firm to market it. Initially known as the Tabulating Machine Company, it went on to become the renowned IBM - International Business Machines Corporation! (Source: tobeyourbest/Abridged version/IBM Archives)

This ability to perceive things differently can be developed over a period of time. However, it is essential not to attach too much of importance towards having a positive and beneficial outcome. Each and every outcome need not be sensationally outstanding. One should be prepared to deal with disappointments and take them in their stride. Dwelling on attempts that have borne not so successful results would only create a feeling of depression and sadness. So one should be able to rise above it and make a renewed attempt from an entirely different angle.

The secret goes in here! Many times, disappointments have led people to make revisions or improvisations that have eventually led to phenomenal success. Well, even if we did not get phenomenal results, let's look for newer avenues in the failed venture and if there isn't any that is apparent, do not hesitate to look for something else to do. Do not let one failed project or attempt ruin your spirits for a lifetime!

After all that’s not what life’s all about!!

Always remember the adage "Great people do not do different things, they simply do things differently". A different perception is bound to result in a creative solution. A good way to increase this particular skill would be do the usual things that you do in a slightly different manner from time to time. For all you know you might discover a more efficient way of doing the same thing!!

That’s a point to ponder for all of us!

Thought: Effective Leadership

In today’s world of competition, effective leadership is playing a major role. It not only enables each individual to prove his leadership skills, but also shows the individual ability in effectively dealing other team members. The present short article discusses about how effectively one can lead the teams in an efficient manner.

"Being the leader doesn't make you one, because leaders don't automatically get the respect and acceptance of their group members; so in order to earn the leadership of their group and have a positive influence on the group members, leaders learn some specific skills and methods." -- Thomas Gordon

Effective leadership does not mean that how effectively the leader is leading the team. But it does mean that how effectively the leader is working with the team and how effectively the leader is managing the team. In order to be an effective leader, one should be able to motivate the team in an efficient manner. As all of you are already aware, success of any project depends on effective leadership, effective leader does mean that, in the absence of leader, team should be able to work. Leader should not become critical to the team, but he should become critical in making the team to achieve team goals or meeting the deadlines. Team should not get prejudiced with the assignments that the leader does. Leader should assign the work to each and every individual by keeping the following things in mind.

1. Strengths of each team member
2. Weaknesses of each team member

Leader should provide a facility in such a way that juniors will learn from seniors within the team. He needs to motivate the team in all the aspects even during crisis period of a project. He should be able to effectively delegate the work to his members and at the same time he should make sure to meet the deadlines. Leader should be able to communicate to his team members in a language that is understandable to both of them.
Effective leader should be able to identify the strengths of each and every individual effectively within the team and should assist the concerned individual to grow. The feedback that the leader is going to give to a team member should help him work in a better way than earlier. During feedback, leader should not compare the team member with any other member in the team. He should mention clearly to the team member stating what was expected out of him and what was not met by him and what were the reasons resulting in those unmet expectations. Leader should also make sure that he has set all the objectives for each and every individual team member well in advance at the beginning of the project. This enables the team member to work in a better and a much more challenging environment. Leader should also need to take care of knowledge sharing among the team members/across the teams. This not only enables each and every individual to expose their skills and also puts the overall talent and maturity of the organization in a commendable manner. Effective leader does not need to necessarily have soaring technical capabilities. But having the technical skills not only enables the fast career growth for him and his team but also helps him resolve any technical issues with-in and across the account in an effective and efficient manner, there by making his presence known and well-acknowledged with in the organization and among the clients that he is working with. Effective leader should be able to forecast any problems that may likely to come in near future and should be ready with action plans to resolve them. Leader should be efficiently able to track any issues in the team and also should make sure to close those issues by prioritizing them. And finally he should try to establish himself as one of the family member within the team. This helps all his members to exchange their ideas/problems without any hesitation with him.

All these qualities specified above exclusively leverages the capabilities of a Leader and also allows him to quantify the “measure of success criteria” in his projects and amidst his team members.

To sum it up, wise men define the following as the most renowned and much sought-after characteristics of a winning leader who’s more effective and very efficient by all means: (Source: Agdex 1912-1. Revised August 1998.)

Effective Leaders will always be honest with their team members. This gives them credibility, resulting in the trust and confidence of their people. Credible leaders foster greater pride in the organization, a stronger spirit of cooperation and teamwork, and more feelings of ownership and personal responsibility.

• They do what they say they will do. They keep their promises and follow through on their commitments.
• They make sure their actions are consistent with the wishes of the people they lead. They have a clear idea of what others value and what they can do.
• They believe in the inherent self worth of others.
• They admit to their mistakes. They realize that attempting to hide a mistake is damaging and erodes credibility.
• They create a trusting and open climate.
• They help others to be successful and to feel empowered.
• They don't push too much. They encourage members to do more, but know when it's too much.
• They roll up their sleeves. They show the members they aren't just the figurehead or decision maker. Members respect leaders more when they show the willingness to work alongside them.
• They avoid phrases that cause resentment, reluctance and resistance. For instance, instead of saying you have to do something, effective leaders request or recommend that members do something.

All though all the above might not be feasible to put in action due to organizational, regional, cultural and environmental constraints that are generally overlooked at a global level, we all can at least give it a try, A genuine attempt should never really hurt!

Brass & Bronze Days...

When my mom gave away all her bronze and brass utensils that were adorned with traditional state-of-art craftsmanship and had endowed our generation till-date with a consummate feel-of-belonging to the rich and popular dynasty that roots back to the most renowned “Appaji” of the Krishna Deva Raya’s era, I was mostly unfeeling and insensitive to these things that were getting out of our generation, which had been for so long (that no one can easily track-back) dwelling with us, constantly reminding us of our ancestral origin and also making us get accustomed to clean these heavy utensils every week with a sparkling “pink and yellow” to pass the spick and span test conducted by the elderly lady(s) of the family. This would usually be mothers or the in-laws.

When I was young, it used to be fun on every Thursday evening as mom would be busy cleaning all these utensils and would pay less attention to me and my brother, the kids.
She used to slog herself or with the maid to give the best shot to get these vessels to glittering brightness.

During those days, after playing for a longtime with my street friends and enjoying the bonus hours of a Thursday evening when I went to our backyard for freshening-up, I used to see the array of these bronze and brass utensils cleaned to perfection, shining to glare my eyes at twilight, arranged neatly one after the other size-wise kept upside down to dry out the wetness. I vividly remember cursing those vessels to have remained more dirty so that it took more time for my mom to invigilate the cleaning process or do it herself, which would in-turn give me more time at play!

Every festivity was an opportunity that awaited the finest exhibit of these vessels to the best of their utilization with the beholding contents of food cooked deliciously and offered to god before human consumption. This caught the attention of the neighborhood families in the street easily and middle-aged women who were daughters-in-law of joint families or mothers of 2-3 kids like my mom used to stream in to our home to calculate the worth of the bronze/brass utensils and their beauty and take-in the picture-perfect glow of these vessels with a shade of jealousy, that usually ended up in muttering “Why use all these vessels when there’s glass and stainless steel that the world is reaching out for!?” … mind you this was nearly 20 years ago!

An indignant grandmother of mine, used to retort with skilled tyranny “if you cannot stretch yourself to manage precious little possessions such as these, don’t you dare discourage my daughter-in-law who does it with whole-heartedness!”

That saved my mom’s time for one thing that those ladies always kept quiet for the rest of the times they visited my home for the Navrathri Doll Festival or Varalakshmi Vratham days!

Navarathri days used to be utmost fun with the dolls of plaster of paris, ceramic, good-old-mud and wooden dolls artistically dressed in glad rags and trinkets festooned with glitter papers and other eye-catching substances to enhance the beauty of these hand-worked dolls echeloned in a vast gallery with mounds of cereals and grains arranged in front of them in those cute-looking miniature cups and bowls made of brass and bronze, what an ecstasy and a delight to the eyes those were……

From the place of birth, we had been traveling although not too much to keep the things we possessed very light, but at least to an extent that we had to forcefully dispose off the stuff that weren’t of any use to my mom with her graying her and menopause knee-pains reminding her of her aging process, she finally had to brace herself for this decision of giving away all that she had been possessing for more than 35 years now.

All that glittered and glowed in our home when I was a kid, taking advantage of all of those to play, to boast, to fool-around….. is all gone now!

Nothing that’s bronze or brass except for a small lamp and a tumbler are left of the huge range of collectives and possessions that were passed on to the later generations from long, long ago by my great, great grandfathers!

“Sorry, Ma… I couldn’t even give a proper valedictory speech to honor our buddies when they left us”…I thought when my mom asked me to clean the lamp and the tumbler placing a small knoll of tamarind, for the month of Shravan is round the corner.

Soul Searching!

On a fresh Saturday morning in July 2007, I paid a visit to TTD Balaji temple at T.Nagar - Venkat Narayana Road, Chennai. I simply love the ambience and serenity of that place and the peace of mind and mental tranquil that I derive out of it every time I go there. With the impending load of work looming large in front of me in the coming days, that place was the only pressure-free-zone where in I could exercise my transcendental patience practice which was dancing on the edge of getting obsolete in me. Although I wasn’t a super-observer of patience and its assorted comrades like tolerance, persistence, lenience, forbearance and staying restraint, I wasn’t way too out of control with my anger too. Well I at least never used to shout at people with lack of discipline and manners - as often as I did these days.

It makes me feel like these people are strict followers of profanity and I am the one against this loathsome sacrilege. Displeased with my mental disability of temper-watch, unable to put-up with my disintegrating graciousness (although, its so only with the wrong-doers) and in a bit of soul searching with in and inside me alone, with the hope of trudging on with even a small fragment of the desolated equanimity that would lead me to be a bit poised, if not for anything miraculous.

Thwarted was I when I went this time to the shrines' rafting away all those alms-mongers, cursing-under-the-breath-tulsi-garland vendors, repeatedly yelling archana basket vendors, ear-jarring horns of the traffic, unbearably loud clamor of a bunch of fellas who are fighting over each other to take care of your shoes while you are inside the holy place. More maniacal hue & cry of the junta that has come to see the god and in desperate measure to make it as quicker and in a shorter way as they can by cutting across the Q-lines and being yelled by the throng that’s been tending to move so very lazily and haphazardly giving no room for movement in the Q-line that had formed literally two streets away from where the almighty stood all graceful and charming at his devotees. The congregation that had assembled in that early hours of a Saturday morning made me ponder how many others apart from me, were probably in a much worse state, perhaps possessing the most uncommon turmoil in their life, was there to seek consecration from the deity.

Something suddenly changed in my whole being. I felt a rush of fresh blood flowing through all my veins starting from the brains. I decided not to seek for anything this time around from God except this sanity that he has gifted me with. Determined, I kept my cool and moved forward slowly with the crowd, missing out totally, but with full-heartedness of my usual set of prayers, seeking for happiness, seeking for promotion, seeking for wealth and health, seeking for peace of mind at home and work. I wasn’t feeling guilty for my act. I was rather happy and contended, for the first time in my life, for I had asked the god for nothing, absolutely N.O.T.H.I.N.G at all.

After taking the holy prasadh, I prostrated in front of the powerful omnipotent lord seeking for not anything for I was a nonentity in the vast plate of petitioners that God had to attend to and get busy with.

With a revolting surge of new found happiness and fulfillment slowly overruling my rather inordinate demands of a naïve mind I unlocked my legs from the prostrated from in front of the God and landed myself to a sitting position.

There was girl in green salwar sitting next to me. She looked too disturbed and was persistently uttering Stotras with her eyes closed. I watched her as my heart voluntarily sought god’s help to resolve whatever that lady’s problem was. As I unfolded my palms in front of me and opened my eyes after praying for this unknown lady who was sitting next me, I craned my neck to see that she was no more there. But in her place was a Titan watch that belonged to her. Instantly I picked it up, pushed away the crowd that were standing in front of me to leave the temple, yelling out “excuse me” as loud as I can and leaving a bit of the crowd flummoxed in the process.
Finally, I found her near one of those shoe-guarding guys and tapped her on her shoulder as I was breathing hard with the fresh-sprinting I had done and extending her the watch with a euphoric smile on my face.

“Thanks a lot; it’s my lucky watch and my only priced-possession presented by my dad, who’s no more” said she.

Tears trickled down her cheeks leaving me completely bolted to the ground for few seconds and then I gathered myself consoled her and wished her good luck in all her endeavors and left my card with her incase she needed any help.

I stood there watching her gait and her mouth continuing to mumble:

“Vina Venkatesam na natho na nathah Sada Venkatesam smarami smarami,
Hare! Venkatesa! prasida prasida Priyam Venkatesa! prayaccha prayaccha.”

When I walked away, I whispered to myself, “Lord, I solicit nothing to be bequeathed!”